Ever catch yourself spiraling in negative thoughts and think… “Why am I like this?”
You’re not alone.

Whether it’s self-doubt, fear, judgment, or just good old-fashioned overthinking—our minds love to run wild. And if you’re a high-achieving woman, especially one trained in fields like medicine or law, you were probably taught (explicitly or not) to look for what’s wrong… not what’s working.

But here’s the mindset shift that changed everything for me:

Whatever you feed grows.

That thought? It’s shaped how I lead, parent, build, and show up in my relationships. And it’s the one I come back to over and over—especially when my brain starts feeding me the unhelpful stuff.

Because if you’re going to feed something with your time and energy—it might as well be the mindset that moves you forward.

Our Brains Are Wired for Survival, Not Joy

Let’s start with a little grace:
Your brain isn’t broken. It’s doing what it was built to do—scan for danger, anticipate threats, and protect you.

The problem? That default mode often leads to fear, anxiety, and worst-case-scenario thinking. And if you’re constantly feeding that pattern—through your thoughts, your conversations, your environment—it grows louder.

Think of it this way:

• If you focus on what’s wrong in your business, your business will feel wrong.
• If you replay every time someone disappointed you, resentment will grow.
• If you judge yourself every time you fall short, confidence will shrink.
  
  

Whatever you feed… grows.

Thought Stacking Is Real—and It Works Both Ways

At a relationship conference years ago, I watched an exercise that stuck with me.

A woman had been keeping a journal of every time her husband upset her. Her therapist had recommended it. But instead of helping, it made things worse. Why? Because she was stacking all the negative interactions—and zero of the good.

Her lens became filtered through disappointment.
And it impacted how she showed up.
(And let’s be honest—how she felt about everything.)

Now apply that to business. Or your marriage. Or your team. Or your self-worth.

Are you collecting evidence for what’s going wrong?
Or are you actively noticing what’s going right?

How to Stack the Good (Without Ignoring Reality)

This isn’t about toxic positivity or ignoring real challenges.

It’s about taking charge of your focus—because what you focus on shapes how you feel, how you show up, and what you create.

Here are a few ways to practice this:

1. Start a Gratitude Practice

Every morning—or any time you feel stress building—write down 3–5 things you’re grateful for. Big or small. Bonus if you say them out loud or text them to someone.

Leti’s husband does this multiple times a day. It’s not cheesy—it’s strategic.

2. Interrupt the Loop

If you’re stuck in a fear spiral, change your state. Go for a walk. Move your body. Hug your kid. Dance it out.
Your physiology impacts your psychology more than we give it credit for.

3. Ask Better Questions

Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” try:
“How is life happening for me right now?”

It’s a simple reframe—but it opens the door to possibility instead of panic.

4. Celebrate Tiny Wins

Most of us skip the celebration part—and that’s a mistake.
Every time you pause to acknowledge progress, you reinforce belief, energy, and joy. And guess what? That’s what grows.

Choose What You Feed

We all want to live more joyfully. To feel more aligned. To lead with clarity and connection.
But that doesn’t happen on autopilot.

You have to choose what you feed your mind.
Feed it gratitude.
Feed it love.
Feed it possibility.

And yes, your mind will still serve up the fear sometimes. That’s okay. But you don’t have to keep eating it.

Reflection Question:

What’s one thought or belief you’ve been feeding lately… that you’re ready to shift?
And what would you rather grow instead?

Want to Go Deeper into Mindset?

Leti pulled together a list of her favorite mindset and personal growth books—the exact ones that shaped how she leads, builds, and thinks.

👉 Download the Free Book List

It’s full of powerful reads to help you think differently, lead boldly, and create a life and business you actually love.